Then It Hits You
by Jezebel Parks
Summary: Pin-Mei always thought that what little she did for Ren was enough, and thought nothing of the small presents he'd buy her "to shut her up". It takes a near-tragedy to show her that Ren's sacrificed outweigh anything she's done for him.
1. Chapter 1

Yes, this is a repost of one of my oneshots. Well, it's not a oneshot anymore, as I have completed the second chapter, and thus, the story. So I hope you all enjoy this :)

**Title:** Then It Hits You (part 1)  
**Author: **lunchy (Jezebel Parks)  
**Pairing: **Tao Ren / Xu Pin-Mei (oc)  
**Fandom:** Shaman King  
**Theme:** #9 Dash  
**Canon:**_ A Gift of Love_, circa chapter 56  
**Disclaimer:** Shaman King is copyright Hiroyuki Takei and Viz media. Pin-Mei and Rong were created by the author, lunchy/Jezebel Parks.

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OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

"Thanks for buying me the plushie, Ren."

"It was the only surefire way to get you out of the store."

"Hehe."

Pin-Mei took the small stuffed cow that Ren had just bought for her and slipped it into her pocket. She smiled and patted it. "There we go." She grabbed his hand and squeezed it tightly. "I love you," she said cheerfully as she leaned on his shoulder.

He didn't look at her. "I know. Just make sure it's not only when I buy you things."

She clutched his arm and looked up at him. "Of course not! I love you all the time!"

He gave her a half smile, still trying to keep his cold demeanor. "I do too." Her smile became even brighter as he looked down at her. Slowly, he leaned in and kissed he gently. She blushed and hugged his arm again.

They were in Japan visiting Rong and HoroHoro. While the point of their trip was to spend time with their friends, they still took time to be alone together. After all, this was where all their first memories as a couple had been created.

"Let's go home," he said, referring to their Japanese lodgings. Pin-Mei was trying to mask a yawn. "You hear me?" She nodded.

As her eyes opened, she looked to her right and then let out a squeal. "Ren, look! A puppy!"

He looked at the white collarless canine walking past them. It was whimpering slightly, as if frustrated by a long and unsuccessful search. Pin-Mei produced a blanket decorated with smiling milk bottles from her shopping bag and used it to pick up the puppy. It whimpered more and she tried to soothe it.

"Hey babykins, where's your mama? Hm? Where is she?"

"It's not going to answer you, you know that, right?"

"I know that, but I read somewhere that they like it when you talk to them in a high voice."

He sighed. "If you really believe that, then fine, but it's time to put the dog down so we can go home."

"But-but-but..."

"You're not keeping it. Now, put it down and let's go."

She sulked. "Okay...Just let me find a safe place to put him – away from the traffic." But as she spoke, a cat ran across the street catching the puppy's attention. It leaped from her arms and dashed after it. Pin-Mei froze for a moment, then let out a small cry and ran into the street after it.

Ren tried to grab her, but she slipped by him. "Pin-Mei!" he yelled. "What are you doing, you fool?!"

"I don't want it to get hit!" she called back. "Here, puppy!" It stopped and wagged its tail as she picked it up. "Don't do that! You scared m-!"

There was a horn. She looked up to see a small truck heading for her. She froze like a deer in headlights.

There was a crash.

Pin-Mei hit the ground

as Chinese blood

spilled onto the streets.


	2. Chapter 2

**Title:** Then It Hits You (part 2)  
**Author: **lunchy (Jezebel Parks)  
**Pairing: **Tao Ren / Xu Pin-Mei (oc)  
**Fandom:** Shaman King  
**Theme:** #19 Red  
**Canon:** _A Gift of Love_, circa chapter 56  
**Disclaimer:** Shaman King is copyright Hiroyuki Takei and Viz media. Pin-Mei and Rong were created by the author, lunchy/Jezebel Parks.

**Notes: We have conflicting languages in this, so Japanese will be in italics.**

**

* * *

**

Pin-Mei opened her eyes, expecting to be in a pool of her own blood. But there was nothing surrounding her except for a few bystanders. Slowly, she stood, wincing from the pain coming from her right ankle and shoulders.

"_She's up! She's okay!_" someone shouted.

"_Miss! Are you alright?_"

Pin-Mei swiveled to look at the crowd that had gathered around her. She scanned the faces, recognizing none. The puppy had run away as well. She didn't understand anything – the voices nor the situation.

"R-Ren!" she called. Nothing. "Ren!"

An EMT ran over to her. "_Miss, are you hurt at all?_"

Pin-Mei just stared at her, terror in her eyes. "_N-No speak J-Japanese_," she finally forced the words out. "_N-Need fianc__é__ to speak_." They were simple phrases Ren had taught her in case she ever found herself separated from him.

"_Are you with someone who can speak Japanese?_" the woman said slowly.

_Ren, where are you? I'm so scared...I wish I could talk to these people...I can't...I need help...I just wanted to see Rong!_

She stopped. "Rong..." she whispered. She grabbed her cell phone from her pocket and quickly pressed a memory button. The woman was looking at her strangely, but Pin-Mei tried to gesture in a way that told her what she was doing. Finally, the other line picked up.

"_Hello_?"

"RONG!!"

On the other end, Rong was holding the phone away from her. Finally, she brought it back to her ear. "A little loud there, Pin-Mei," she said. "But how are you? Are you and Ren--"

"I CAN'T FIND REN AND THESE PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO TALK TO ME BUT I DON'T KNOW JAPANESE SO I CAN'T UNDERSTAND THEM PLEASE HELP!!"

Rong blinked. "Sure. What's the matter?"

"I...I don't know! I don't know why Ren would leave me here like this!"

"Well, is there someone there that I can speak to and find out what the hell is going on?"

"Y-Yes! Um..." She offered her phone to the EMT, who cautiously took it from her. Once she realized she could communicate to the person on the other end, she perked up and began explaining the situation.

Not being able to understand them, Pin-Mei looked about the crowd. There was now an opening where some people had left. She squinted and saw that another crowd had formed around something laying on the ground. Curious, she slowly wandered away from the EMT and toward this new crowd. The thing on the ground got clearer.

It was a person.

_Oh no...someone was hit...who--?"_

Her eyes widened and her mouth dropped open. She quickly covered it with her hands, immobile. She started trying to run toward the body, but only succeeded in stumbling her way over to it. When she arrived, she dropped to her knees.

"Ren..."

Her eyes flooded with tears as she stared down at his beaten body. It was turned on its side, cut up from rolling on the ground.

Pin-Mei felt her clothing get moist, and looked down to see that she was kneeling in his blood, which was spread about him. There were scrapes on his face and blood dripping from his mouth. His hands, with skinned palms, were resting by it. Hauntingly, his left eye, the one she could plainly see, was open.

"REN!" she screamed, hoping for some reaction. The eye shifted to look at her. Her own went into a state of horror. "SAY SOMETHING!!"

"_Miss, please, I think you should leave_," a medic tried to coax her, but of course the words meant nothing to her.

She reached out to stroke his hair, hoping that it would feel the same as it had the few times she had done it before. The medic slapped her hand away.

"_Don't touch him! You'll only hurt him!_"

She didn't understand. Why was this person preventing her from touching him? Why couldn't she?

The EMT from before ran over to her with her cell phone and handed it back to her. She snatched it away, hysterical.

"RONG!! WHAT'S GOING ON?!"

No response. She looked at it. The power was off. She stared at it in shock, then tried to call her back. No answer. Just as she was about to throw the phone in anguish, a hand touched her shoulder.

"He didn't buy that for you so you could break it. If you want a newer model, ask for one."

Pin-Mei looked back as Rong, now five months pregnant, slowly knelt down beside her.

"Rong..." she whispered before clinging to her. "What's wrong with Ren?! What happened to him?!"

Rong surveyed his body as the EMT brought a witness over to explain what had happened. Pin-Mei watched as she bit her lip and then finally turned to face her.

"W...What did he say?"

Rong closed her eyes, as if to prevent her own horror from showing, then opened them halfway again. "You don't remember what happened before you woke up?" Pin-Mei shook her head. Rong's eyes squeezed shut and she tilted her head, almost as if to turn it.

HoroHoro appeared next to her, staring at his friend's body. "_Rong, I don't know enough Chinese to tell her myself. I know you don't want to, but you have to be the one to tell her._"

Rong nodded, her eyes opened a little, and a tear escaped from their corners. "Pin-Mei...you're the reason Ren's in this position."

Her friend froze with wide eyes. "W-What? Me? What did I do?"

Rong closed her eyes and tried to sound apathetic, hoping that the girl's foolishness would become apparent to her. "The witness said that you darted out into the street as a truck was coming. Ren ran after you and shoved you out of the way. He practically threw you. If he hadn't, it would be you on the ground instead of him. The truck hit him head-on, sent him flying. He rolled a few times before he stopped, so the other side of his face might be skinned as well."

Pin-Mei just stared at her fiancé as she slowly covered her mouth, her whole body shaking. She shook her head as she looked down at him.

"Ren probably knew he'd be more likely to survive something like this than you. Your body's rather frail, whereas he is constantly conditioning his. He's sacrificed himself for you, Pin-Mei."

"W-Why?! Why did he have to do that?! Everyone always says how arrogant and apathetic he is toward everyone – why does he always give himself up when it comes to me? Why can't he--?"

"Because he loves you, dammit!" Rong screamed. "Stop feeling sorry for yourself! What's done is done, and you can't turn back the clock. He's hit, he's on the ground, and he's fighting for his life because you couldn't look both ways before crossing the street after some stupid mutt! If he dies, it's going to be YOUR fault!"

Pin-Mei covered her mouth again, and her sorrowed chokes and gasps made her body tremble. She stared at his body, their time together flashing before her, then vanishing without the ending she wanted; without ever getting married or having children. Without growing old together, and a fabled death where they were never apart.

Her thoughts burst when she noticed that the EMTs were moving his body into the ambulance. She lunged to touch him, but a nod from Rong had HoroHoro holding her back.

"N-No! Don't let them take him away from me!" she screamed. "Bring him back! Bring...him...back..." Her voice drifted off as the doors closed and the ambulance sped down the street, sirens blaring.

Once he realized she wasn't going to chase after it, HoroHoro slowly let her down to the ground. She fell to her hands and knees, just staring at the ground.

Rong thought for a moment, then reached out and put her hand on her shoulder. "Pin-Mei, I think this is a way for you to understand that you need to be a little more selfless."

She looked back at her. "S...Selfless?"

Rong nodded. "I know you didn't have the best life at Xu-Fan Castle in terms of love and emotional support, but you were still waited on hand and foot, and practically born with a silver spoon in your mouth. You're spoiled. You're still a little too used to getting what you want, and there's little doubt in my mind that Ren gives in to you once in a while. I know you think 'I'm just fifteen,' but you need to start growing up a little."

Pin-Mei's head turned to the ground. As cold as Ren was, she was still his fiancée, and he would sometimes buy her that plushie or shirt that she just had to have. The truth was...

_He...He's always buying things for me. He says that they're just to get me out of the store, or to 'shut me up'...but he buys them anyway. It's his money that he's using. Me? I'm as good as poor, now. I never use mine. It's all locked away. I'm just a leech...I'm just a prissy little girl...I'm just...I'm just..._

"Pin-Mei," Rong said suddenly, waking her up. "Do you want to go to the hospital now? Or do you just want to sit here and mope? Really...If anything, I think you owe it to Ren to be there when he wakes up."

All she could do was nod.

* * *

And then, all she could do was wait. She sat on a bench outside the operating room with the words from the doctor stuck in her mind.

"_Broken ribs for sure. His right leg, that might need a plate to make sure it's fixed. He might have a concussion as well from hitting the ground...Sweetheart, I just don't want to make any promises about what he may or may not be able to do after this."_

She put her face in her hands.

_It's all my fault...It's all my fault...It's all my fault...It's--_

"_Oi, Rong, is there any chance you could just have the baby now so we can get all of this done in one fell swoop and not have to come back?_"

Rong glared at him and landed a strong punch to his ribs. "_How can you say something like that when you're best friend's the one on the table in there?!_"

"_I wasn't serious!_" he cried, holding his side. "_I was just trying to lighten the mood a little!_"

"_Well Pin-Mei can't understand what the hell you're saying anyway! So just knock it off!_" She turned and saw that Pin-Mei was now looking up at her, responding to her name. "It's nothing, Pin-Mei, really."

The girl's head drooped again. No news. No updates. No nothing.

"_It's just a little hard to believe_," HoroHoro said quietly. "_Four years ago, he would have just sliced the truck in half and been done with it. He's changed a lot since then. Not only did he let the truck get out unscathed, but he put himself in harm's way to save someone else._"

"_Love changes people_," Rong said with a dreamy sigh, her hand on her stomach.

"_Oh, hey, it looks like they're done!_"

Of the few words Pin-Mei knew, 'done' was one she had always remembered. Her head snapped up to see Rong and HoroHoro glancing at the sign above the door. The light had been turned off, signaling that the operation had finished. The surgeon emerged from the room soon after.

Pin-Mei practically pounced on the woman. "HOW IS HE IS HE DEAD IS HE ALIVE DID YOU STITCH HIM UP IT BETTER NOT SCAR HIS PERFECT BODY SO WHICH IS IT IS HE OKAY IS HE--!"

The surgeon just stared at her, the language barrier ever-present. "_And this is..._?"

"_His fiancée_," Rong said with slight embarrassment."_So..how did it go_?"

Recognizing that no matter what she said, it wouldn't quell the girl's anxiety, she simply gave a thumbs up. Pin-Mei stopped flailing, her face lighting up.

"Well, it looks like he dodged the bullet yet again, Pin-Mei."

"Y-Yeah..." she whispered, wiping a few tears away.

"_When can she go see him_?" Rong asked the surgeon.

"_Within the next hour or two I would imagine. He's probably still going to be heavily sedated, though. She can talk to him, but chances are that he won't be saying anything until tonight at the very least._"

Pin-Mei looked to her friend. "What'd she say? Something about 'tonight'?"

"You can see him soon, Pin-Mei, but it'll be like talking to a wall."

Her eyes widened in horror. "They...turned him into a wall?!"

Rong sighed. "No, they didn't. He's just not going to talk back. But he's not deaf, so he'll still be able to hear you."

"O-Okay..."

* * *

A few hours later, after HoroHoro had taken Rong somewhere to rest, Pin-Mei sat at her beloved's bedside. She smiled at the fact that his face only needed small bandages, which she took to mean there would be no scarring. Most of his body was covered by the bed's blanket, and she couldn't help but feel grateful for that. She knew she wasn't ready to see his body in that condition.

With a shaky smile, she lightly held his hand. She instantly noticed that they were still as warm as she remembered them being.

"Hey," she said softly. "I'm here."

She looked down. _What else can I say? I mean...I'm the reason why he's even here..._

"Ne...Ren...Do you ever get sick of me?" she whispered. "Do I ever just get on your nerves so much that you just wish I wasn't there?"

His eyelids twitched.

"If that was a 'No,' then I don't believe you. I think we both know that you're more mature now than I'll probably ever be. I wish I could be more like you, honestly. Then I would feel like I could be a more suitable partner for you...Sometimes...I just feel like I'm doing this whole thing wrong."

She thought of the times when Ren seemed to be trying to initiate something, but she just looked at him blankly or smiled dumbly before hugging him and promptly falling asleep. Now that she realized what he had been doing, it was too late for her to go along with whatever he want. He hadn't tried lately, probably expecting the same results as any other time.

"But still...I can't be here if you aren't. The only reason I hung on and lived in _that place_ for so long was the belief that I'd see you again someday. Even though it took ten years for it to happen, it all seems worth it now. I know it is."

She smiled for a few moments, then it faded again. "But I can't talk about my life like it's been some struggle so worthy of pity that I'll write a book about and gain sympathy from the world. It feels stupid when I think about what you've been through. You've seen and experienced things that my nightmares are made of; things I would never be able to face head-on like you have. I...really admire you for all that. I know you sacrificed a lot."

"_He's sacrificed himself for you, Pin-Mei."_

Her body trembled as she began crying again. "I'm really sorry!" she cried. "I'm sorry that I've done so many things without thinking about you and what you wanted! I thought I was being so selfless and giving all of myself to you by doing stupid things like bringing you milk and towels and cooking for you every now and then...but that's not enough! That's not even close to what you deserve!"

A nurse stepped into the room. "Miss, please lower your voice. Some of the patients are sleeping."

Pin-Mei looked back at her, her face red. "Oh...I'm sorry."

After the door had closed again, she turned back to Ren.

"I guess I inconvenience people a lot. I wish my mom had raised me. Maybe then I would be more helpful and thoughtful of people...I guess there's no point in complaining about that now, though."

She took a deep breath.

"Thanks for saving me, Ren. Really. Even though you probably knew this would happen to you. Part of me still can't believe that you'd do something like that.

"I...I hate to say it, but I think I would be too scared to do anything. I want to change that about myself. Your family is so proud...I want to make sure that I can shoulder that as your wife. I'll try harder, I promise."

She looked at him longingly, knowing that it would be some time before she could embrace him again or have him hold her again. Even though he was right next to her, she missed him terribly. She wanted to watch him in the weight room again, a soft towel in her lap, her legs more than ready to scamper to the refrigerator to fetch his bottle of milk. She wanted to be back in the emperor-sized his room housed, him allowing her to clutch him tightly.

"I get it now," she whispered. "Whether I like it or not, you're not always going to be here, so I have to make the most of my time with you. I promise I'm going to do just that."

She continued to admire how peaceful her looked, despite his injuries. "I know you wouldn't like me to use this word normally, but I think you're beautiful, Ren," she said quietly. "It's just one of the many, many reasons why I love you." She started to crumble a little. "I love you, Ren. I really, truly do, and I'm sorry I put you in this position."

She soon wiped her tears and looked at him once more. With a slightly devilish grin, she reached over and, with her left index finger, pushed down on his bottom lip.

"It's okay, Pin-Mei," she said, imitating his voice. "I was deeply moved by your speech, so I forgive you. I love you t—"

A hand snatched her wrist. Pin-Mei looked down to see Ren gazing up at her groggily.

"What are you doing?"

"V-Ventwilliquition," she stammered.

"Ventriloquism," he corrected. "My head's in a fog, and I can still say it better than you."

She blushed, then retracted her arm enough so she could hold his hand. "How are you feeling?"

He sighed. "Like I just got hit by a truck."

A worried, if not guilty, look swept across her face. "I'm really sorry! This is all my fault!"

"I suppose it is, but I could have just let you get hit, you know. It's not like you dragged me with you." He closed his eyes. "You could say that you forced me in a way, if you're so eager to blame yourself."

"H-How did I...?"

No answer. After waiting a few moments, she realized that he had fallen asleep. It was clear that the medicine hadn't completely worn off.

"Huuuu..." she whined.

Ren soon opened his eyes again. "What makes you think I wanted to see you in this position?" he said in a low voice. "I did it to save you, but I also did it to save myself from having to watch you suffer. There was a little bit of selfishness in that."

She looked down. "But I thought that you had seen--"

"--a lot of dead bodies?" he finished for her. "What makes you think it's the same as watching your fiancée die in the middle of the street?"

"Ren..."

"To be honest, when you came and looked down at me, when you called my name and let me know you were there, I felt relieved...happy, even."

"Happy?"

"I hadn't done it all for nothing. Just knowing that you weren't hurt was enough."

He sat up a little, wincing slightly. Pin-Mei flailed.

"You shouldn't be moving so soon! You'll hurt yourself!"

He gave her a stern look. "I'm already hurt, fool. A few stabs of pain like this won't kill me."

She calmed, already seeing that the personality she knew and adored was back. "Alright. Just let me know if I can do anything or get anything for you."

He leaned over with a grin that made her entire face flush crimson. "I hope you plan on making this all up to me when we get back to China and I'm fully recovered."

She nodded frantically. "Y-Yes! O-Of course I do, Ren!"

He smiled, secretly proud that he hadn't lost his touch.

"Pin-Mei," he said finally.

"Y-Yes?"

"...Why didn't you just heal me from the beginning? We could have bypassed the hospital bills, and it's a little hard for you to do that now that they put a piece of medal in me."

Her eyes widened in realization. "I-I'm sorry! I wasn't thinking! You're right!" She looked defeated, then smiled. "I can still do the other type of healing my mom always did."

He looked mildly interested. "Oh? And what's that?"

She leaned in and kissed him. It felt like it had been forever since their last, and though it had only been house since, they treated it as such.

When they parted, she looked up at him innocently. "My dad said that Mom would always kiss any boo-boos Kai had. She said that they had the power to heal pain with love."

He smiled down at her, amused by her childish behavior. "My lips didn't hurt one bit, though."

She giggled. "I just thought I'd make sure."


End file.
